Consent is a key foundation for relationships and sex education (RSE). However, it can be a tricky topic to get right with teenagers, so that they are actually learning what it means to them. Young people really want to explore consent in practice, especially grey areas and methods of communication.
In one of our lessons about relationship ethics this year, we looked at the behaviours which are healthy and unhealthy in a relationship. Like many young people who we work with, a number of the students thought it was legal to send and receive ‘nudes’ at age 16 (rather than 18).
In fact, one student explained, ‘The rule is to show your body but not your face.’
Can you imagine grappling with the expectation that, if you wanted to be someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend, you have to send them a naked photo first?
Tragically, one schoolgirl told us that: “Sending nudes is normal, especially at the beginning of a relationship - so the other person can see what they are going to get.”
We are able to question these “norms” by challenging misconceptions and empowering young people to make their own informed choices and to understand when they might be being coerced.
In another school, we found we needed to explain the 3 legal components of consent (voluntary, informed, and that the person should have capacity to make the decision), as the students appeared never to have heard of these before.
In our consent-scenario game, where students read, watch, or hear a scenario and then decide whether consent has been given or not, some students thought that by slipping a condom in a boy’s pocket, a girl had automatically given consent.
Others didn’t recognise that consent actually couldn’t take place at all, because the girl was drunk. A couple of students still disagreed, even when this was explained to them, as they thought it was unfair - but after further discussion and debate, accepted that it was true and that this is what the law clearly says.
“I liked that we got to discuss this issue (sexting) that society ignores.” Year 9 student.
“I now know what consent means and have learnt ways to deal with pressure - thanks!” Year 10 student
“I liked how the talk was open and that we learnt key areas about consent that I never knew before.” Year 10