In today’s world we live in a time where men in general are not getting the best of media coverage both in mainstream and social media spaces. We are living in a time when many of the males that are getting the spotlight are doing so not because of a display of what is good and commendable but rather for sensationalistic hyper (negative) masculine portrayals of maleness.
To compound the situation further, we have spent the last decade or more going through the revelations of many scandals and abuses from high profile powerful men, who have used their power to sexually victimise women and children, leading to many movements including the #Metoo movement emerging as a force for change.
The truth is this is going to be unlikely to subside soon, as we become more aware of current and historic abuses of power by some men with power and the world becomes more open with acknowledging, addressing and changing the context in which such circumstances have been enabled to exist and at times thrive!
However, it is always good to remind ourselves, even with all the negative headline grabbing stories, that there are many good men that exist in the world today. Many good fathers, brothers, sons and friends who are doing their best to be positive depictions of what it means to live as a positive male role model in today’s world. These unfortunately, don’t get the headlines, they are the unsung heroes who many people experience everyday but are so easily forgotten in a world where we are constantly hearing about all the abuse cases.
I was delivering a lesson several years ago to an all-girls school and a slogan had become well used as a reaction to the awakening to the historic and current abuse cases by men on women, the slogan was #allmenaretrash. As I was delivering the RSE session to over 100 girls they kept talking about men in only negative terms and kept using the slogan #allmenaretrash. Being a man myself, this was disheartening, so I stopped the lesson and asked them to raise their hands if they really believed that all men were trash and there aren’t any good men out there. To my surprise almost every single hand went up, I then asked them to keep their hands up if they believed that all the men in their lives were trash i.e. brothers, fathers, friends etc and almost every hand went down. My point to them was not to dismiss the very real threat that some men pose towards women and girls but as a reminder to them that the actions of a few men shouldn’t make the rest guilty and to remind them that not all men are abusers even though some are. This sentiment is now being acknowledged in wider society with a new slogan #notallmen.
As men’s international day is here with the theme of ‘positive male role models’, in the context of negative, or as they say, toxic role models getting all the headlines, it is good to remind ourselves not to look at the media as the sole source of the picture of manhood. Let’s look closer to home and think about the fathers who have done a good job, the brothers who have also been good friends to us and all other men in our proximity who go about their everyday lives contributing well to society and loving those around them, but who also will never get the headlines for what they do. So, let's celebrate those men and hold them up as our male role models.